Life is a Buffet

The book opens with just two people inhabiting a beautiful paradise, but then the action starts and before you know it there are all kinds of interesting people and a wide variety of storylines weaving in and out of this fantastic book.  I just couldn't put it down.  The main person the book centers around is named Jesus Christ.  He is the only Son of God, but is sent to be born in a stable here on earth to a virgin named Mary.  Now if that doesn't grab your attention, then nothing will.  He leads a rather quiet life at first and then BAM! at the age of thirty He bursts onto the scene performing many miracles like turning water into wine, walking on water and feeding five thousand people with just a couple of fish and five loaves of bread just to name a few.  Boy, could I save on my grocery bill with that one.  This guy really held my attention.  He was like a Lion but also like a Lamb, if you know what I mean.  Read about how he heals a man's blind eyes by putting spit on them and raises the dead right before your very eyes.  Read about Jesus putting together a whip out of strips of leather and chasing people selling cattle and sheep and doves out of the Temple, stampeding the sheep and cattle, upending the tables of the loan sharks, spilling coins left and right when they try to turn the Temple into a shopping mall.  Jesus has got to be the greatest action figure that ever walked the earth.  Yet you willl be totally entranced by his powerful words and his compassion for people.        

The central theme of the book is love.  The book is filled with many, many references to love.  In fact love is so central to this book, that the main person, Jesus, performs the greatest act of love I've ever heard or read about.  He sacrifices His own life to save the whole world.  I'm here to say, I was in tears when I read this part.  He has all the powers of the universe at his disposal, yet he let them lead him to his own crucifixion.  He died a cruel and painful death.  I sobbed for three days.  I can't stand it when they kill off the main hero in the book.  I was heart broken to say the least.  It took me a while to pick up the book again, but boy am I glad I did.  You see, they crucify Jesus and for three days everyone is grieving and wailing, but then, get this, something miraculous happens.  They go to the tomb where Jesus had been laid and find the tomb empty.  That's right baby, I'm talking stone cold empty.  Gives you goosebumps doesn't it?  I was captivated by this resurrection miracle.  They couldn't lay a glove on this guy, Jesus.  I mean, they put his dead body in a tomb and rolled a huge stone in front of it and BAM! Jesus gets up and walks out of there like it was nothing.  Death had no hold on him.  I danced around the room for hours when I read that part.  It's my favorite part of the whole book.  I read it over and over again. 

I'm sorry to give away the whole plot and ending, but it's just too exciting to keep it a secret.  Don't worry, though.  I understand from the ending of the book that there will definitely be a sequel to this one.  There's no date set just yet, but I'm assured it will happen.  I believe it's going to be titled something like, "Jesus Returns!"   I can hardly wait for that one.  By the way, I hear you can sign up for the sequel now.  The demand is so great that the author himself, God, is keeping track of the names of those signing on now.  He promises an abundant life, blessing and prosperity with lots of grace thrown in for all who sign up while the sequel is being prepared.  Reserve your seat now for the greatest blockbuster event to ever happen.  The special effects are said to be over the top.  We're talking budget buster for this one. 

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a book that has everything to offer.  There's even a talking donkey for heaven sakes.  I guarantee you this book will become your all time favorite and you will want to read it over and over again.  It's destined to become a classic.  Your life will never be the same once you read this one.  Rush out and buy this book now.  It's a book the whole family can enjoy.  The Holy Bible is available in many different translations and languages.  There are also study guides, commentary and devotionals that will enhance your reading experience.  This bestseller is available at every major bookstores all over the world.  I'm hoping it comes out in 3-D.  Get your copy now.   

To sign up for the Jesus Returns Sequel just repeat these simple words:  Lord Jesus, I love you; I repent of my sins; and I want to worship you for the rest of my life.  I understand this entitles me to be a part of the Jesus Returns Event and to many benefits while I await the sequel.  Please add my name to your long list of subscribers and followers.  Amen.